Merry Christmas to my love!
Enjoy the holiday!
Revel where the angels move,
Rejoice in what they say!
Years burn life down to a stub;
Christmas comes and goes.
Happiness lies at the nub,
Refuse of one’s woes.
Inside the husk there is the seed,
Shivering with glory;
The midnight cold, the dire need,
Mere setting for the story.
All the labor, loss, and pain
Sings of beauty born again.

SING OF THE HOLIDAYS THAT END THE YEAR

Sing of the holidays that end the year!
Each cause for celebration and reflection.
As darkness rules the earth, sing of good cheer,
Sustained by will and nourished by affection.
Of Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year’s Eve,
Now sing that you might magnify the light!
Sing, for in your joy you will believe,
Granted grace throughout the bitter night.
Rekindle for these reckonings the fire
Each carries as a favor to the heart,
Eloquent of rapture and desire,
Twin grounds of both sincerity and art.
In quest of fellowship and common feeling,
Needing company, nor care concealing,
Giving and receiving equal measure,
Sing, then, of passion, faith, and simple pleasure!

MY LOVE IS SOMETHING SEPARATE

My love is something separate
From what we say or do.
Though we may have it out with words,
I’m still in love with you.

Just as waves ignore the rocks
On their way to shore,
And keep on coming even if
They see what lies in store,

So I will come, no matter what,
And break, and come again,
And break against your wilderness
Beyond all joy and pain.

THE PAIN WILL NEVER GO AWAY

The pain will never go away;
The wound will never heal.
The evil that was done to you
Is now your eyes, your heart.

The black will never turn to gray;
The blood will not congeal.
The violence is never through;
The past does not depart.

Time will merely make you whole,
Consuming what you are:
Part sufferer, part comforter,
Part victim, part new song;

Part mother of an angry soul,
Part child of despair,
Part witness and part conqueror
Of all that did you wrong.

YOUR SAY DOES NOT DERIVE FROM WHAT YOU SAY

Your say does not derive from what you say.
A child hears the one most often here,
And loves the one whose love’s most often near.
You must have known that when you went away.
The power lies with those who choose to stay,
For parents rule by love far more than fear,
And children follow those they hold most dear.
It takes far more than will to have your way.
And now you want to tell me what to do,
Not having earned the right through years of love
But claiming the authority of seed;
While I will give precisely what is due,
Returning love to those who loving prove;
Serving those who long have served my need.

SECULAR CELEBRATIONS SEEM SO SPARE

Secular celebrations seem so spare,
Even with religious ancestry,
As though the brick beneath what had been there
Stood unadorned where stuccoed grace should be.
Old prayers and praises now sound insincere,
No longer fitting where but reason reigns.
‘Tis the season, nonetheless, for cheer;
Scoured of mystery, mystique remains.
God aside, the dark still turns towards light;
Revolving Earth still tilts into the sun;
Each gift of breath still fills one with delight;
Each child is still all being new begun.
The miracles one celebrates are questions
Implying answers too remote to know.
Nor need one not have faith in the directions
Given those whose fate it is to go
Step by careful step towards what is so.

CHARLIE

Charlie is my golden, longhaired sin.
His eyes tell all his dark brown chocolate thoughts.
All he wants is loving without end,
Ravenous for touching of all sorts.
Left on his own, he cannot comprehend
In lonely misery how I defend
Even just one breath away from him.

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Allison Brustofski sings one of the most beautiful songs ever written – Somewhere from West Side Story. Music by Leonard Bernstein, lyrics by Stephen Sondheim. © 1956. This arrangement was a hit for the amazing Barbara Streisand in 1985. NOW AVAILABLE ON ITUNES! itunes.apple.com ALSO AVAILABLE ON RHAPSODY! mp3.rhapsody.com “There are so many reasons to love this song, but I like it most of all because it’s about hope. Thanks to Max, Steve, and Jordan at Clearcut Studios in New Jersey for …

Mike just got back his math test from the previous week. The mark he earned was a “C”. He can barely hold back his disappointment, because he studied for it for a long time. He can’t believe it. He feels it doesn’t seem to matter if he tries hard or not, he still doesn’t get good marks. What is the use of trying?

Granted, it feels very disappointing when things don’t work out the way you had planned, especially when you put in a good effort.

So how to you keep going when the going gets tough? Would you, too, call it quits if you were in Dan’s shoes, or would you continue to study for your tests despite the low mark received in this test?

“The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person’s determination.”
- Tommy Lasorda

1. Keeping An Open Mind

In Mike’s case I hope that you would agree that it is too soon to throw in the towel. It’s important that you keep trying until you get the results you want. When you say, “I quit,” you turn off your inner dynamo and your determination leaves. Giving up is the easy (and tempting) thing to do, but don’t give up! Keep trying!

The one thing that you can do in pursuing your goal is to keep an open mind. You will be more aware of ideas and opportunities around you that could help you move closer to your goal. Once you say “I quit,” you close off your mind from any additional ways of getting closer to your goal and experiencing the necessary breakthroughs to help you get there.

For example, in the math test, if Dan keeps an open mind and chooses to keep studying for tests, he may find new ways of preparing that will help him retain the information. Not everybody learns in the same way. There are more ways than one to do everything!

2. Trial and Error

One thing for you to remember when you get discouraged is that you actually tried in the first place. You made an effort. If you got a result that you don’t like, you will need to adjust your actions until you get a better outcome. Especially at the onset, we may feel overwhelmed at times and think that we will never get there. Yes, you may have temporary setbacks, but if you learn from those and change your actions, you will get what you want.

Colonel Sanders was rejected over 1000 times before someone bought his famous chicken recipe.

The Wright brothers tried many times before taking flight.

Thomas Edison tried to invent the light bulb over 9999 times. He said that every attempt showed him just another way how not to invent the electric lamp. He didn’t look at them as mistakes, but as advancements towards his ultimate goal. What a powerful mindset to have!

The spirit of “stick-to-it-iveness” (in proper English the word is “tenacity”) is the one that wins! Each time you try again, you WIN!

3. Questions Are the Answer

When you run out of ideas, it’s time to start asking questions. Of whom do you ask the questions? Guess what? YOU! That’s right. Once you start asking yourself questions, you will come up with more answers. The trick is to ask yourself better questions so you will get better answers!

What do I mean by that?

Let’s use the scenario about Mike and his math test. He could ask himself, “How come I never get a good mark? How come I can’t do well in school?” The kicker is that when you ask those kinds of unhelpful questions, you are going to come up with answers that are just as unhelpful, such as, “Because I am stupid, because I’ll never learn it, because I am no good, etc.”

Now let me ask you some questions.

Are those answers going to help you? How are they going to make you feel? Are they going to make you take action and try again?

Here is a better way of asking yourself questions.

“What can I try differently next time to help me study?
Ask questions that are geared towards getting what you want, not what you don’t want. Keep the questions positive.

For extra effectiveness, try writing the question(s) down. If you ask yourself the questions before you go to sleep at night, often times the answers will come the next day. Your brain will have had the time to think about it while you were sleeping.

Sounds pretty easy, doesn’t it? Keep asking better questions, and better answers will come.

4. Guidance

Here is another question. “Who can help you?”

Is there somebody who has already achieved the same goal? Find them and ask them what they did to get there. Asking doesn’t cost anything. If they won’t help you, find somebody else.

Chances are these people weren’t always doing great at first. The difference is that they kept going, no matter how small the action seemed at the time. Once you have the determination to persist until you get what you want, you will become more confident in yourself as well.

5. Excuse Me

A sure way to keep from starting or continuing towards your goal is to come up with an excuse. There is always an excuse ready for you to use if you want to find one. It’s easy to come up with excuses. If you find yourself making excuses, take a minute and you will see that you are really only cheating yourself.

6. Picture It

To make your goals a reality usually requires you to venture outside of your comfort zone. That can be scary, and it will not feel very uncomfortable at first. Keep focusing on the benefit of your goal to push yourself further along.

Take a minute whenever you feel overwhelmed and DREAM about your goal! See yourself already there. Get a clear picture of what you are going to look like, where you will be, and what you will be feeling. It’s fun to dream, and it will help make your dream come true.

You deserve the best in life. You deserve to get what you are dreaming about. You alone can make it happen. It’s your birthright to have it all. Nobody has the right to take that from you, no matter what you have been told.

The truth is that you can do anything you set your mind to do. You just don’t know your own power yet. If you truly desire to get something and you aren’t going to let anything get in your way, if you are creative and keep an open mind, it’s amazing what you can do.

Stay in the game. Don’t give up. Don’t quit. Don’t succumb to pressure. You may need to take a breather every once in while to help you get back your momentum, and that’s okay as long as you get back in the game again. Any dream worth having is worth persevering to reach. You have it inside of you to create your dreams and your future. Go for it and make it happen!

“If you can dream it, you can do it!”
-Walt Disney

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great Surprises, is to find he can do what he is afraid he couldn’t do.”
-Henry Ford

One last note about when it isn’t advisable to keep trying. That’s when you’re trying to change somebody other than yourself. It’s great to help out a friend and do things for them sometimes, but it’s their responsibility to take care of themselves and have their own goals. It’s not going to work in the long run if you do it for them.

This article is part of the Teenacity Teen Chat Guide “Get what you want and break free” – 6 ways to help you unleash your greatness no matter what your life is like now! Go to HTTP://WWW.TEENACITY.COM – The # 1 Place for Teens – Where You Are Accepted For Who You Are – and get your copy now free of charge!

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All I have to say is WOW!

 As adults we too get angry. Some of us go take a walk. Some of us find journaling helpful.  Some of us yell at the person closest to us, later feeling badly and needing to apologize. Some of us engage in activities that are self harming such as over eating, drinking and worse.

 Teens get angry too. I’ve had moms actually say to me, “I can’t believe he/she is so angry over “that”. “That” of course refers to something that mom does not believe the teen should be angry about. I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen adults throw temper tantrums in what I think are the oddest of places. I’ve seen adults scream at retail employees. I’ve seen adults literally throw food in a restaurant. I’ve read about adults shooting guns at someone on a freeway. For me, these are not things that would push my buttons, but the reality is, we all get angry over different things. We all have different buttons that get pushed by various activities and we all have a different perspective on what’s just happened.

 Teens are no different. I’ve seen my own kids get angry over unfairness in a classroom, over a friend saying or doing something they didn’t like, and yes, they even get angry at me and the decisions I make. Anger is ok. It’s how we handle the anger that makes us who we are, and as parents, we do have the right to tell our kids that certain behaviors when angry are not ok.

 For example, it is not ok to slam doors, ever. I don’t care how angry you are, do not slam a door in my house. It is also never ok to hit another person. It does not matter how angry you are at that other person, you may never hit them. If you are feeling angry, take a walk, go swimming, hit a baseball, throw a basketball, kick a soccer ball. Work out the anger in a way that is not hurtful to another person or to yourself.

 Both of my kids refuse to talk to me when they are angry. This is ok. I know that when they calm down and when the anger passes, they will come and tell me what had them so upset. Sometimes that might be the next day, or sometimes it might be the next week.  It’s only when the anger is gone that you begin to see choices to solve whatever it is that brought on the anger in the first place. Anger can help lead you to decisions. Anger can help lead you to change.

 Teenagers need to be allowed to feel anger. It helps them grow. It helps them learn how to have control. It’s hard to not yell or slam or a door. Having that control leads to increased self confidence in their own abilities. Being allowed to feel anger also helps teens learn to problem solve. This is something they will use forever. It’s a wonderful skill to learn.

 Next time your teen is angry, smile and make a few suggestions on how to get rid of some of the steam, but do let them know that it’s quite ok to feel that way.

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The story of Heather O’Rourke a child star that passed away at the age of 12

Many things can lead to depression. A teenager is just learning how to handle the pressures and emotions of an adult. Only 30% of teens suffering seek help. The others just suffer through and do their best to get through. Adults have difficulty dealing with many things, asking a teenager to deal with it on their own, is not be the best option.

Learning the signs of depression for our youth can be difficult. Depressed teenagers are often just seen as being a teen. Signs of irritability, fatigue, withdrawal and changes of eating and sleeping habits, are seen as normal signs of growing up and hormone surges. They are also signs of depression. Learning the difference in your teen’s behavior may be key in getting them the help that they need.

Learning to talk to your teen may be your best investment in their mental health. Parents and adults in a teen’s life struggle with this aspect. They often want to see the teen as still a child where the teen wants to be seen as an adult. Learning to bridge this gap and communicate efficiently may be a daunting task, but can be managed.

An adult should learn to offer support when conversing with a teenager. Let them know you are there for them. Ensure them that you are available to them at any time. Show them that you can listen without being judgmental. Don’t try to talk them out of the way that they feel. Show them that you can understand and give them the help that they need to deal with how they are feeling.

Trust your own instincts. If you have a teenager that is showing signs of depression get them help. Trusting your own feelings and emotions may be what sets the teen on the road to better mental health. They may resist getting help at first. Be firm. Let them know you are there for them and willing to work with them, but insist that they find someone they can work with to help them through this difficult time in their life.

Often a teen will find it easier to speak with someone other than a parent. Consider a peer mentor for your teen. These are teens that are trained to work with others. They become a positive influence. Teen mentors can become a confidant and will be there for the teen that may be in trouble otherwise.

Teenage depression is a serious problem, but can be treated. Learn to recognize the symptoms and get help as soon as possible. Turn the teen in your life into a success story instead of a statistic.

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In this type of environment, each attempt by parents to connect with their teen is like walking through a minefield. Every step carries the potential of detonating an explosion of conflict and aggression. The result of this type of family dynamic is often a numbing exhaustion that permeates every aspect of family and personal life.

A sense of hopelessness is common when a gulf in communication exists between parents and teenagers. A belief, steeped in resentment, that things will never be any different can keep families from seeing ways that respect and understanding can be restored.

With the right tools, applicable knowledge and commitment, parents can shift their relationships with their adolescent children from adversarial to respectful. By creating a space where parents and teens can hear each other in an open accepting environment the entire family can come together, reconnect and grow.

One of the best ways to start is by looking at the world that kids are living in. As much as one might sometimes question their choices, kids are the experts on their world. They have a common language that they share with friends, a set of intense likes and dislikes, and a way of looking at the world that is unique to themselves. The goal for parents is to approach that world with respect and learn to understand how things can affect a teenager in both positive and negative ways.

It can be difficult to set aside the time and energy to be present with children, especially with all of the expectations placed on parents to live up to our culture’s image of success. It is more than common these days to find both parents working as a means to sustain financial stability.

This same pressure to achieve affects teens as well when they perceive that acceptance and success comes from external achievement. The pressure to wear the right clothes, have the newest electronics, perform well in school, and be popular is very real to teenagers.

Having a safe haven within the family to decompress from these pressures is vital way for kids to maintain a strong sense of themselves while strengthening the family as a whole. Parents can encourage their kids to build on the strengths of their uniqueness showing them that they recognize the pressure they face to fit in.

As parents, it is also important to recognize when these pressures may be too big for your teen to handle on their own.  This is a time to find a qualified therapist who specializes in working with teens to assist them in dealing with the challenges they are facing.

As parents make space for the unique aspects of their teens to develop both adolescents and adults can create a place of mutual understanding.  By releasing judgment, misunderstanding, and expectation individuality can blossom and a healthy relationship can grow.

Learn More About Teens and Therapy at www.JohnSovec.com

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Charice Pempengco, 16, is diminutive in size but her voice is anything but. Her pipes have drawn comparisons to iconic singers such as Whitney Houston and Celine Dion. And Pempengco already has proved she can belt out a power ballad with the best musicians. “She reminds me of Celine when I saw her singing in a tent when she [Dion] was 18,” said mega-producer and 15-time Grammy winner David Foster. Foster, who has worked with a bevy of musical heavyweights like Josh Groban and Brian McKnight …

Teen Sex – Have you just found out you are pregnant and worried sick? Are you unsure what to do or who to turn too? Is your reason for concern that of being too young for motherhood or the trouble you expect from having underage sex? Does your concern involve protecting your partner? The most common of all concerns is telling your parents you are pregnant, right. Come on girls’ mom and dad ain’t so bad. In fact your parents are the two most important people in your life right now that you need more than anything else in the world. An impulse decision made to have an abortion can leave you full of remorse later in life. Parents have a duty to fulfil. Their parental role is to protect their children and “their” kids too, do not deny them nanny and granddad responsibilities.

Have you had teen sex and showing signs of pregnancy? If so the first step is to face the music and tell your parents sooner than later. Mom and dad can only display disappointment for a while and any hollering if any will not last forever. Parents do calm down after having time to mull over the situation of which may have come as the biggest shock of their life. Parents have earned the right to be upset don’t you agree. A combination of sadness and madness on hearing the news is normal. Most outbursts are normally caused when parents see their dream shattered. Witnessing their child’s career or that of having a life go down the swanee can be unbearable for some. However there are many teen mums with a baby who cope and still manage to return to school, but you may bet the biggest majority have the support of their folks behind them.

Have you been fortunate with your teen sex encounters and evaded pregnancy, well next time you may not be so lucky. Contraception (condoms/birth control pill) should be used for protection agains’t sexually transmitted diseases (STD) and unwanted babies. The long wait for your period to arrive following sexual intercourse without protection can cause severe stress.

Pregnancy symptoms differ from woman to woman; if you have been sexually active do a home pregnancy test to clarify. Bleeding can happen in pregnancy only shorter or lighter than a normal period. Surrounding skin around the nipples may get darker. Early Symptoms of pregnancy can begin before your first missed period.

Pregnancy symptoms

1. Swollen breasts and tenderness.

2. Lethargic

3. Morning sickness. This normally happens between 2-8 weeks after conception.

4. Pain in the lower back; backache can remain throughout the entire pregnancy.

5. The sudden rise of hormones in the body can cause headaches early in pregnancy.

6. Around 6-8 weeks after conception – urinating can become more frequent

The flood of hormones in the body in early pregnancy can make you unusually emotional and weepy. Mood swings are common, especially in the first trimester. The symptoms mentioned here aren’t always unique to pregnancy. Some can signify that you are nearing your first menstrual cycle. (Period)

Food cravings can be the norm for a pregnant woman. Cravings can include strawberry jam and mustard pickle sandwich filling or tuna and chocolate on a bun how yummy is that, maybe not for those who watch from “afar.”

How to use a home pregnancy test kit purchased from a chemist.

1 Wash your hands before and after pregnancy test.

2 Remove the test applicator (stick) from the foil wrapper.

3 Sit comfortably on the toilet do not rush.

4 Locate the test applicator in line with the urine stream with the “result window” facing upwards.

6 Wee onto the applicator for the time suggested on the instruction leaflet.

7 Wait until results appear.

Pregnancy test kits may show a different result symbol (negative positive) Regular test sticks display a blue line through the middle of the result window or a simple yes or no. If you find urinating onto the test stick awkward then wee into a tumbler and plunge the stick into this. Discard the container after use. If the test reads positive tell mom first then make an appointment with your doctor.

Home pregnancy test kits employ monoclonal antibodies to identify a hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG), which is created by the developing placenta starting on the day on which the embryo implants in the uterine wall.

First Response Early Result Pregnancy Test

($18.09 for two)

Consumer Rating: Excellent

Confirm Pregnancy Test

($11.19 for two)

Consumer Rating: Poor

ClearPlanEasy Ovulation Test Pack

($30.32 for five)

Consumer Rating: Very Good

Answer Quick & Simple One Step Ovulation Test

($16.89 for five)

Consumer Rating: Poor

The reason why you need mum to confide in is because she is your best friend after all.

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Ashley Argota’s debut music video “Dreams Come True” is just that! Ashley along with 15 dancers that were selected through Rainbow Connection Dance Competition, had there dreams come true by starring and being featured in this debut. Ashley has a lead role on the new Nickelodeon series “True Jackson”!!! She is starring opposite Keke Palmer from Akeelah and Bee and Gregg Proops from Who’s Line is it Anyway!

Several counseling centers are available for these needs. These centers are manned by experts in their respective fields, such as psychologists and health experts, to management personnel like human resource managers who cause fears among job applicants.

In choosing the right career, the first thing to consider is the abilities of the teenager. This includes his intellectual level, educational qualifications and skills. Knowing one’s abilities is very important especially in entry level positions and in competing for the desired job. A teenager must remember that there are other jobseekers vying on the same position.

Teens are advised to equip themselves with the right training. This is an added factor in determining the capability of the teenager to do multi-tasking. Similar agencies are conducting trainings, seminars and workshops in various categories. These trainings are either short or long periods.

Deciding on what job to apply and the kind of company must be considered. A teenager must have thorough information on the benefits that the company offers, and whether the job will be a long opportunity. The teenagers, if ever they will be hired, have difficulty in adjusting to their jobs. Pressures in meeting deadlines and in accomplishing tasks will cause so much stress, and if not properly answered, may cause nervousness and fears of the daily challenges in the work environment. Further considerations are career advancements and whether personal growths are afforded. A career could be lifetime or just a short stint, but both involve exhaustive efforts. So why contend on careers, which have little benefits if a teenager can grab a better position?

But seeking the help of counselors in career would only give small assistance to the teenagers. They are just designed to help the teenagers assess him, understand his needs and implement the right action. Choosing the right career is one, full utilization of the career is another. Here, the teen’s right attitude, outlook in life, his dreams and aspirations, especially his married life when the time comes, could not be all learned from counseling. The best counseling that the teen wants could be acquired from his own family.

The family is the most influential factor to the teen’s choice of career. The attitude of the teen towards his career is affected by what he hears from his parents. If a parent always complains about his job, most likely, the teen would give the same career the least consideration. If his parents have enjoyed their career choice, contented and happy, then there is a great possibility that he will follow the same career path.

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